Antonio

We first met Antonio at breakfast two years ago, when he came to sit by us and politely introduce himself. Later that day he asked us “do you know what lynch means?” and “Could you take someone’s eyes out with a spoon?” He liked to try and scare volunteers.

We sat with him at every meal, then a few days later he wasn’t there. Someone told me he went to visit his family. We wondered why he lived in an orphanage. A week later he sat with us again at breakfast. I commented that things are different at the fund without him. “How are things different?” he asked, almost offended. He didn’t believe me. I tried to explain that he's the kind of person that lights up a room, he looked doubtful.

At our first meeting the director said we would care for the Parvulos for a month while their house mother was on vacation. She suggested that Antonio help us, he spoke the best English and we really needed a translator. She also mentioned that we should get to know him because he “needed house parents.” He was 13 but acted like he was 30, we couldn't figure him out. We spent like 15 hours a day with him while working, we became great friends. He explained that he lived at the Fundacion because it gave him the opportunity to attend school, that he had a family but hadn’t lived with them for about five years. He had a dream that he lived with us and we “were eating so much food.” For a child that has experienced starvation, that is important. He had another dream that I was a mother hen caring for little chicks, protecting them.

When we went into the meeting to learn who we would house parent we had one condition: he was our only condition.

Those first months he cried himself to sleep every night. He talked about despair, he talked about killing himself. Sometimes he had a huge breakdown, sometimes we would talk for hours. He told me he really needed someone to talk to, that he wanted house parents because he was totally alone. We learned about the abuse he had suffered at home, we learned about the abuse he had suffered in the Fundacion. We learned that his grandmother raised him, that he worked full time at 7 years old, and months later he told us he's gay. I told him he would never be alone again, that I would do whatever I could to make sure of it.

We have been raising him for 2 years now, our 11 month old daughter has only known life with him in it. His mom regained custody of him less than one week after we were forced to leave the fund. He lives with us and some weekends in Soloma with his biological family.

In two years, when he turns 18, we plan to adopt him. (This is, of course, his choice.)

We don't have all the answers but we take it one day at a time.

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So what have we been up to?

I have started doing to bookkeeping for Story. I also do the bookkeeping for our mineral business. Bob works online, running the mineral business most days. We are living life with our son and daughter: mood swings, breakdowns, fun, happiness, gratitude, the firsts of our daughter, homework, cooking, laundry.